We have been on leave for the last three weeks. Tomorrow we head back.
To real life. To the hospitality industry that challenges me in so many ways.
Time is up and I have not written at all.
Not one word!
So here I am ready to try before everyday demands attempt to devour my time and energy again.
I have not spent a lot of time on Facebook whilst on leave, but there was one post that spoke to me on so many levels.
I love the “Ravenous Butterflies” posts that come my way from time to time. The posts consist of beautiful, I mean simply exquisite, images…often paintings filled with colour, delicate feminine figures and the like.
Invariably , I feel my soul respond and I share it to my timeline so that I will find it again in the endless stream of posts and impulses that is social media.
This particular post was no exception.
Posted on 26 January at 9h44 pm was this painting by Anders Zorn with the quote:
“ In such ugly times, the only true protest is beauty”.
I felt my soul cry out in recognition of a sense I sometimes experience when watching a wonderful movie or reading a really gripping story. It visits me too when I listen to moving music or see actors perform from the magical place where their true Being resides.
This longing, this urge and compelling desire that wells up in me , I realized, is exactly this: to create something of beauty.
It is not necessarily “pretty” or particularly easy- this thing I want to create. It is often raw and real rather than pleasing. The beauty lies in the authenticity. The honesty that calls to my soul and hopefully also to other kindred spirits sometimes. It is one of recognition and response which makes me feel less foreign and different in this world.
I had not made the connection, though. That this urge that we have to create, can be our protest in “such ugly times”!
Often when I feel the call, there is a distinct , yet nebulous , sub-text of wanting to make a difference . My Inner Mean Girl immediately dismisses this as grandiose and narcissistic !
Here’s the thing, though. For me , part of wanting to create, is being thin-skinned, sensitive to impulses and images, tones of voice and even , dare I say it, energies that seem to pass others by.
Seeing this need of mine to create “beauty” , as a protest, really works for me.
On a deep and profound level.
Being more sensitive, open , exposed and instinctual than some others (or at least feeling that this is the case) means that I often feel overwhelmed and despairing about the state of the world and man’s inhumanity to man (and women , of course)!
Tend to lose my precious sense of humour, when I need it most.
So ..Inner Mean Girl., guess what ?
My desire to write, to create, is a protest. My humble protest against the ugly times we live in.
The revenge of the bookworm, the nerd, the “over-emotional” me!
And I’m gonna do it! Whether you like it or not. I’m gonna write. Protest my little heart out.
So ,put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Stand aside …this gal is ready to toi-toi!