That thing again!

Perfection in a bowl!

Throughout my life there have been these little freaky coincidences. Signs along the way, that have amazed and humbled me. They have also delighted me with their quirkiness and absolute perfection.
Today I experienced another one of those special moments.
Those of you who know me, know that I love to write. Too often, I must confess too, I’m inclined to talk about writing and my love of the word. Rather than buckling down and just doing it. Human after all.
Since being here at Fynbos Retreat , and really longing to write about this part of the journey, I have started to question why it is that I deny myself this pleasure. The joy of sitting and putting down my thoughts on paper (or screen nowadays!). I know, as a Capricorn ( if you believe in star signs and their supposed predispositions) or as the eldest child in my family, I am duty bound. Responsible, thorough, ever striving to get it right. It is even clear on my face. I have this puckered frown, rumple an almost permanent , dare I say it, “wrinkle” between my eyes that speaks of concentration and strain. In moments of total relaxation it is not there, I am told.
There has always been another bed to make or pizzas to prepare or a booking to handle. Some days I have been tired from the Jack & Jill trip up and down the hill to Arum Lily. If I’m honest I have to admit if I really wanted to – or maybe it is not that – maybe it is simple- just decided to….I actually did have time. Or I could have made the time to do what I am doing now. Losing myself (or is it finding myself, creating myself) as I write. Why didn’t I?
I suppose part of it, is that fear of sucking at it. Being a bad writer. Or not getting it right. Lately though there is this little voice that whispers something along the lines of: “Why are you so unkind to yourself? Why do you think you have to earn the right to take some time to write?” I am beginning to think it is deep seated thing with me. If I know one thing after 55 years on this planet that probably means I am not the only one. The only one who fills their days with “have to’s and should’s and must ‘s when there is longing that constantly tugs and calls. A call that eventually must be obeyed. When I answer that call I am happy. I feel joy. I feel pretty and witty and gay (happy that is ala Blast From The Past).
So here is the quirky, freaky happening! Today I sat down and wrote a blog which has been fermenting for months (maybe even from the very beginning of our time here). Not this one, but one about my first impressions of Fynbos Retreat. Guess what happened?
An e-mail arrived inviting people in the Overberg region to enter the Homegrown Bloggers Challenge 2014. I rest my case.
Perdita Van Dijk Du Bois